


fierce, independent, at the beck of no man

by thegirl20



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 07:20:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19224361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirl20/pseuds/thegirl20
Summary: A family day out for Moses' birthday.





	fierce, independent, at the beck of no man

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the dialogue prompts: "And if we die today?"

It's far too early to be up and about on a Saturday morning, never mind dressed, out the door and driving along some near deserted road with Vanessa leading Moses and Johnny in a rowdy rendition of The Wheels on the Bus. But, somehow, they've managed it.

Moses had spent his birthday with Ross since they'd had him for Christmas, so his birthday treat had been delayed to the weekend. Vanessa had asked if maybe he'd like a party with all the kids from nursery, but Charity couldn't imagine anything worse. Two of them are hard enough to keep track of enough to make sure they're not eating liquitabs or jumping off heights. Twenty of the little buggers would be an absolute nightmare. She hadn't said that in so many words. She'd suggested they do something as a family instead. And, of course, that made Vanessa's eyes light up and she was off googling ' _family days out in Yorkshire_ ' before Charity'd been able to finish her sentence.

Noah had declined the invitation to join them. Politely, which is a step up from a few months back, so it's just the four of them. They're meeting the rest of them for dinner in the pub later.

They finally work through all the verses of that flamin' song, but just when Charity thinks she might get two minutes' peace, Moses pipes up from the back. "Are we there yet?"

Charity turns to look at him in the backseat and lifts her eyebrows. "What do you think, bab? Do you think we're there yet?" He looks out of the window and then back at her, shaking his head. She copies him. "No. 'Cause we're still driving, aren't we? Ness is taking us to the back of beyond. Or worse." She widens her eyes. "Morecambe."

Laughing, Vanessa slaps her knee. "We're nearly there, love. Not too long now, I promise."

"Five minutes?" Moses asks, hopefully.

"About that, yeah." Vanessa looks in the mirror and smiles at him.

"Yeah, I've heard that one before," Charity mumbles, settling down in her seat, resting her head against the window. "Wake me when we get there."

* * *

To Vanessa's credit, it's less than ten minutes before she's turning up a single track road, and into a makeshift car park. The boys are babbling ten to the dozen as they get them out of their car seats and Vanessa applies sun tan lotion to their faces and arms 'just in case'. Charity regards the sky doubtfully. It's dry and fairly warm now, but there are some threatening clouds in the distance. No doubt it'll be tipping it down before long.

One look at Moses' grinning face, sun cream caught in the tips of his hair, and she puts all thoughts of rain to the side. Today's about him getting to run around daft and have fun. It's times like these where she'll be accosted by flashes of what her life could have been if she'd made certain choices. Not so long ago, she was willing to leave her kids behind and jaunt off to France with Cain, if he'd let her. Only last year, the bottom of a vodka bottle was more appealling than spending time with her kids when they clearly needed her.

But things are better now. She's got her head on straight. Her eyes drift to Vanessa's backside; she's bent over, trying to rub lotion onto Johnny's ears. Okay, maybe not  _straight_. But she's got her priorities in order. She's hit rock bottom so many times she should've really bought a timeshare there. But she knows she doesn't want to go back there now. She's found a place in the world where she's safe and loved and wanted. And that's so much better than the money and other material things she used to think she needed to make her happy. Who knew chucking a picnic and a couple of kids into a Beetle could actually be enjoyable?

"Right, I think that's just about us, yeah?" Vanessa announces, slinging the backpack containing the picnic onto her shoulders and adjusting the straps. There'll also be baby-wipes, a change of clothes for the boys and a full first aid kit in there, if she knows Vanessa at all.

And she does. She knows her completely.

At the beginning of their relationship, Charity had been desperate to keep Vanessa at arm's length. In her experience, getting to know someone ultimately led to disappointment. People are rarely who they let you think they are. There's always a front, and sometimes what's behind it is boring. Or frightening. Or both. And Charity didn't want to go through that again.

With Vanessa, though, it came so easily and so naturally that the intimacy was there before she could block it. She might have been worried about becoming one of those couples who leaves the bathroom door open, but it happened without her noticing. And seeing Vanessa on the loo did nothing to alter her feelings about her. It didn't peel back a layer that Charity didn't want to see beneath, because all of Vanessa had always been on offer. Open and ready and willing to be loved.

She smiles and nods, holding both hands out. "Okay boys, you need to take my hands since Bear Grylls there is carrying everything but the kitchen sink on her back." They quickly do as they're told, each grabbing one of her hands, all the while talking away about how they like Bear's big beard. Charity rolls her eyes. For a bald bloke he certainly manages to leave a good amount of hair in the bath whenever he's in there.

They head across the nearly empty car-park and when they reach the fenced in area by the entrance, Charity lets go of the boys and they run ahead. She takes Vanessa's hand instead, loosely threading their fingers together.

"Listen, Ness, I've been thinking."

"Oh, yeah?" Vanessa bumps their hips together. "What about."

"Just, about...you know. Stuff." She takes a deep breath, making sure not to break her serious demeanour. She stops walking, waiting for Vanessa to do the same. "As I said, I've been thinking. And...and if we die today-"

" _Charity_ ," Vanessa's using that stern voice of hers, but there's amusement underneath it.

"No, listen," Charity urges. "If we get eaten or...I dunno, stampeded or-"

Vanessa throws her free hand out towards the sign, covered with pictures of sheep and hens and rabbits. "It's a petting zoo, Charity. Not a Kenyan safari."

"Well, anyway." She turns to face Vanessa, taking hold of both of her hands and looking into her eyes as soulfully as she can. "If we die, I just...I want you to know that you are the love of my life."

Immediately, she feels the change in Vanessa's body as she melts towards her. Her smile becomes wobbly and her eyes grow to Disney Princess proportions.

"Oh, Charity." Vanessa squeezes her hands, blinking up at her. "You're the-"

"And I also want you to know that it would be your fault we were killed, because I said we should take them to the soft play." It takes a second, but Vanessa's radiant smile collapses into a frown and she huffs, trying to tug her hands free, but Charity doesn't let her, pulling her closer instead and whispering against her ear. "Hey. Doesn't mean the first bit wasn't true, babe."

"Hmmph," Vanessa pulls back to look at her, clearly trying to remain grumpy and failing miserably. "Well. Same goes for me, I suppose."

"Oh, you suppose, do you?" Charity smiles and kisses her quickly. "Come on, before these two try and tunnel in under the fence."

They pay what is truly an extortionate sum of money for an experience they could get by visiting Moira, and then head through into the park itself. There's a big open area and several smaller penned off bits, presumably housing animals that would eat the other ones. Johnny is immediately enchanted by the chickens pecking at some seeds near the gate, while Moses yells something about lambs and grabs Vanessa, pulling her off in another direction.

Johnny looks up at her, pointing at the hens. "Can I touch them?"

She tries her hardest to keep her nose from wrinkling at the thought, glancing around and seeing several other children touching the animals. One very determined looking little girl, who can't be any older than Johnny, has a chicken tucked under one of her arms and is running away from what looks to be her very flustered father.

"Uh, yeah, course, if you want to, babes." Charity smiles and crouches down beside him. "Do you like chickens?"

He nods. "They're like Chickaletta."

Of course. That daft programme. She nods and smiles. "Well, go on then. Give her a pat."

Reaching out, while still trying to stay as far away from the thing as he can, he barely brushes the tip of his index finger over a single feather before springing away, clasping his hand to his chest and pressing against Charity's side. She wraps an arm around his waist and hides her smile in his shoulder. Definitely not a vet in waiting, this one.

"What does she feel like?" she asks.

"Soft," he says, eyeing the chicken like it might suddenly transform into a pterodactyl. "Funny. Like a pillow."

"Right." She's not a big fan of birds, really. "Will we go and look at some of the other things? Animals? Other animals?" He nods, lifting his hand, which she manages to intercept just before he puts his fingers in his mouth as is his habit when he's uneasy. "No, babes, you can't touch the animals and then touch your face, okay? They've got too many germs." She stands, keeping his hand firmly in hers. "Let's go find mummy and get some hand sanitiser, yeah?"

"The one that smells like strawberries?" he asks.

"Uh, yeah, probably." She has no idea which hand sanitiser Vanessa brought. Probably a selection. She rolls her eyes. When did she become the type of mum who insists on hand sanitiser?

* * *

She's sitting on one of the benches, her face turned up to the sun -  _See? Told you they'd need sun cream!_  - when she hears a shriek and opens her eyes to find Johnny barrelling towards her. She scoops him up onto her lap, wrapping her arms around him as he cowers into her.

"What is it? What's happened?" Something bumps against her shin and she looks down to see a little goat nibbling at the hem of her jeans.

"That goat is chasin' me!" he whispers.

She looks down again. The thing is  _tiny_. She smiles and cuddles him tighter. "Maybe he just wanted to play with you?"

"He's just looking for something to eat, darling," Vanessa says, heading over to them with Moses in tow. He's carrying a bottle of milk. The goat must smell it, and trots over to them. Vanessa crouches down and helps Moses arrange the bottle so that the goat can get milk out of it. Johnny watches them, slowly sliding off of Charity's lap and moving over to stand beside them, just behind Vanessa's shoulder.

Once the goat's had its fill, it bleats one and then skips off. Moses goes after him and, with a few reassuring words from Vanessa, Johnny follows. Vanessa stands and watches them for a moment before coming over to Charity, sitting the bottle down on the bench and shrugging the backpack off, sighing and rolling her shoulders as she drops it to the ground at Charity's feet.

"Having a good time?" Vanessa asks, stretching her arms over her head, revealing a sliver of skin at the top of her jeans and sending a spike of arousal through Charity. That still catches her off guard, sometimes; how attracted she is to Vanessa.

Reaching out and grabbing Vanessa's hips, she drags her closer, to stand between her legs. "I am."

"Better than the soft play, yeah?" Vanessa says, tousling Charity's hair with both of her hands. Charity tries not to think about where they've been in the last hour.

"Yeah, I suppose." Something stands on her toe and she looks down to see the same little goat back, its head butting rhythmically against Vanessa's leg. She glances up and lifts an eyebrow. "Looks like you've got a mate there."

"Awww, hiya again," Vanessa bends to scratch the little thing's head and it proceeds to butt its non-existent horns against her hand. She laughs in delight and holds it up flat for him to get a better target.

"What is it with you and goats, anyway?" Charity says. "This isn't some kind of fetish, is it?"

Vanessa looks up at her and smiles. "What? Me liking stubborn things that don't like being told what to do, eat whatever's lying around and run headfirst into everything?" She stands up and tilts her head, bending at the waist so that their faces are close together. "What's your star-sign again?" She pecks Charity's cheek and then she's off jogging over to look at whatever Moses and Johnny want to show her.

Charity watches them, their heads bent together in deep conversation. Vanessa looks up and smiles, beckoning her over to join them.

As she gets up and grabs the rucksack, she decides that being the kind of person who gets up and ready and heads out to a petting zoo before nine on a Saturday maybe isn't the worst thing in the world, really.


End file.
